Here are some random yet awesomely useful Ron Paul Facts. Please use them wisely:

“I just saved a bunch of money on my taxes by switching to Ron Paul.”

“Ron Paul doesn’t pee. He liberates urine.”

“Every time Ron Paul farts, the Liberty Bell rings.”

“Ron Paul doesn’t cut taxes: He kills them with his bare hands.”

“Ron Paul’s motorcycle is powered by global warming.”

“Chuck Norris voted for Ron Paul in 88… twice.”

“If you pull Ron Paul’s finger, a band will march by playing Yankee Doodle Dandy.”

“Ron Paul’s idea of gun control is both hands on the weapon.”

“Ron Paul has no alarm clock; instead he wakes every morning to the call of freedom.”

“Ron Paul delivers babies without his hands. He simply reads them the Bill of Rights and they crawl out in anticipation of freedom.”

“When Chuck Norris gets scared, he goes to Ron Paul.”

“Ron Paul is 9 feet tall, but the weight of his conscience makes him look shorter.”

“Ron Paul uses tax returns of US citizens as toilet paper.”

“Ron Paul is an element on the periodic table.”

“Ron Paul is like kryptonite to Mitt Romney.”

“Ron Paul once ordered a Big Mac from Burger King, and got one.”

“Ron Paul’s pen is mightier than his William Wallace broad sword.”

“Dogs lie down with cats when Ron Paul speaks.”

“Ron Paul can turn water into an American flag.”

“A Ron Paul a day keeps the socialism away.”

“Ron Paul doesn’t act like a patriot, a patriot acts like Ron Paul.”

“Ron Paul’s tears can instantly shrink government. Too bad he never cries.”

“Ron Paul doesn’t write books. The words assemble out of fear.”

“Waldo can not hide from Ron Paul.”

“Ron Paul named his fists “Freedom” and “Justice.”

“Ron Paul refuses to drink tea… only water from Boston Harbor.”

“Ron Paul let the dogs out. They were being held without due process”

“Ron Paul blew up both Death Stars, but the media spun the facts in favor of Luke and Lando.”

“It was going to be called the Paul of Rights, but Ron Paul is a humble man.”

“Ron Paul can believe it’s not butter.”

“When fascism goes to sleep at night, it checks for Ron Paul under the bed.”

“Ron Paul was the OB who delivered Chuck Norris.”

“Ron Paul already stopped global warming with a roundhouse kick to the sun.”

“Ron Paul taught Yoda how to use the force.”

“Ron Paul taught John Wayne how to ride a horse.”

“Ron Paul once went on a wild goose chase, and caught the goose.”

“Ron Paul is what Willis was talkin about!”

“Ron Paul can kill two birds with one stone, but doesn’t because he is against unnecessary violence.”

“Ron Paul taught his old dog new tricks.”

“Why did the chicken cross the road? To vote for Ron Paul.”

“Yes, Ron Paul delivered over 4,000 babies. But what’s remarkable is they were all on time, as promised, under budget, unlike anything else in government.”

“Ron Paul made the Grinch give back Christmas.”

“Ron Paul. Apply directly to the forehead.”

“Waldo called. He promises to come out of hiding if Ron Paul is elected President.”

“How do you spell tax relief? R-O-N-P-A-U-L”

“If you spell Ron Paul backwards, you get the Constitution.”

“Ron Paul put the sword IN the stone.”

“When Ron Paul cuts and onion, the onion cries.”

“Even though all the king’s horses, and all the king’s men couldn’t do it, Ron Paul put Humpty Dumpty together again.”

“Ron Paul knows the Muffin Man.”

“Ron Paul once got an email telling him he won $475 million in the Nigerian lottery, responded, and got his check in two days.”

“Ron Paul is Darth Vaders father.”

“The sun will go blind if it stares at Ron Paul.”

“Ron Paul knows where Carmen Sandiego is.”

“When Ron Paul got married, Thomas Jefferson was his best man.”

“Sliced bread is the greatest thing since Ron Paul.”

“A Klondike bar would do anything for a Ron Paul.”

“Ron Paul’s mother is the Statue of Liberty.”

“Ron Paul hates Raymond.”

“Gold is backed by Ron Paul.”

“SURGEON GENERAL’S WARNING: Ron Paul causes Liberty, Individualism, Peace, Prosperity, Equality, and may impair Tyranny.”

“The Mayans ended their calendar in 2012 to foretell the significance of a Ron Paul Presidency.”

“Ron Paul’s back is always sore because even when he sleeps he never changes position.”

“The only thing that has changed about Ron Paul is his age.”